Four Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Shower For A Week

I can see your faces now, noses wrinkled up in disgust at the thought of not bathing for a week… Eurgh! Think of all those germy-wermies in your bits… I wonder how bad I’d smell? It’d be a pretty easy task, though. No effort / willpower required.

Reason #1: I wouldn’t have to find the time in my busy schedule to fit in a shower… I could stay up later. Or get up later (even better). I love my bed infinitely. If I didn’t have stuff to get up for, like television, I wouldn’t leave it. So the idea of saving myself an extra half-hour a day seems like a no-brainer to me.

Reason #2: I’d save myself heaps of cash. Those bottles of shower gel, shampoo and bars of soap cost money, you know. And a fair amount at that. I know that not using them for a week wouldn’t make a huge amount of difference, but it would make a difference. Plus, think of all that water I’d be saving! I might get a little smelly, but I’d be a smelly Eco-Warrior! And isn’t that what it’s all about? (And I could do with getting my water bill down a bit.)

Reason #3: I’d be limiting the amount of chemicals seeping into my bloodstream. Yeah, you know it’s true. All those Parabens and all that SLS in your bubble bath… It all gets up your bits and in your kidneys (..?..). When I’m 104 and haven’t succumbed to all those carcinogens, I’ll be laughing at you in your pot on the mantle-piece.

Reason #4: Well, the most obvious one of all…? It’s natural, gosh darn it! You don’t see Camels grabbing their shower caps and sponges and ponsing off to their en-suite. And we’re all told about those pheromones that the opposite (or not) sex find attractive; If I didn’t wash for a week, I’d be irresistible to Ben. (Not that I’m not already…).

I’m sure that if I didn’t shower for a week, my body would love me for it. But just to put you at ease, I’m not a dirty bitch and I will be showering all week, every week.

  1. LOL… this it great!

  2. I once shaved my head…saved a heap of money on shampoo!! Thanks for a great post!

    • missoja
    • February 11th, 2012

    I could find more reasons for not having a shower:

    #5: Water kills your brains cells
    #6: Based on researches: water causes acyesis, cancer and tumour
    #7: Taking shower is a source of racism on the world

    LOL ;-))))

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